Life cycle events

[taylweaver]

I'm posting this now, as I watch the final set of this year's Chanukah candles burn - at a reasonable pace this time, in the disposable chanukiah, so that my shamash holder doesn't catch fire.

I didn't bother with the oil tonight because it is late, and I didn't want to a) take all the time to set it up and b) wait an hour or more for it to burn out. (I am not experienced enough to put in just the right amount of oil for half an hour of burn time.)

The reason it is so late is because I got back from a wedding around midnight. Mazel tov to D and J.

Before the wedding, I went to a funeral.

It was a weird day.

My great uncle Henry (or Uncle Henny, as we used to call him), passed away after a few weeks in the hospital on Thursday. The funeral was this afternoon, and it seemed like the entire extended family was able to attend. There were so many stories and memories shared. He lived a full, long life, with a wife who loved him and two kids and five grandkids. All of them were able to attend, which is impressive since a few of the grandkids had been in places as far away as Africa and Prague only weeks ago. Memories were shared about how he was such a giving person, and such a content person. All he needed to make him happy was a piece of cake and a cup of coffee. And he was the one who painted and wallpapered our house, and who taught my mother how to do the wallpaper herself too. He was the uncle with the suspenders, the big, hard belly, and the bad teeth. When he was younger, he was the most handsome of his siblings.

Anyway, it was a beautiful funeral, and I was glad that I was able to be there.

Then, my sister drove me from the cemetery to my apartment, where I spent about 10 minutes changing my sweater and my shoes, touching up my hair, and dumping my bags from the weekend - I had gone to the funeral nearly ready for the wedding - and I was out the door and headed to the subway.

We left the funeral around 3. By 4:30, I was at a wedding.

It was more of a shift than I expected.

It didn't help that going to the funeral made me feel older. Of my grandfather and his five siblings, only one is alive now, and she is in a home, suffering from demetia. Otherwise, there is only my great uncle's wife, whom we hardly see because it is difficult for her to travel. Chances are, at this year's Passover sedder, my parents will be a part of the oldest generation there. So that felt weird, to be so aware of that transition. To think that there are only two left of my grandfather's generation, and then it is my parents' generation that becomes the oldest. It's scary to lose that layer of insulation.

And then, of course, I went to a wedding. So that made me feel single. Feeling the two back-to-back was not the juxtaposition I neeed at the moment...

That having been said, it was a beautiful wedding. There was real klezmer music, and at the end, the musicians played in the center of the circle, like something out of a painting.

And now my candles are burning low, and once they go out, I can go get ready for bed. Oh, and they look pretty too. :)

Comments

[margavriel.livejournal.com]

Was the wedding part of the same family as Uncle Henry, or just an unrelated friend of yours?

[taylweaver.livejournal.com]

No. The wedding was a friend. I was the only one who went to both.

[flintknappy.livejournal.com]

I send you a hug. That does sound like an extremely odd day. I'm sorry about your great uncle. At least he did have a good, full life. I'm not sure what else to say, besides restating that you are a good catch! The lucky person just needs to come along. If I can do anything else for you in a friendly or comforting manner, let me know. (And a belated happy chanukah! Though I am pretty sure I wished you that on chanukah at some point, but doesn't hurt to say again just in case).