Details, Details

Dear copy machine people:

You need to make your machine more user friendly. I know you like to think your machine is perfect, but copy machines sometimes jam. This is inevitable. At first, your machine seems like it is putting in a good-faith effort to direct the user to the area of the jam and to correct it, but once you open up the front of the machine, any clarity is utterly lost. There are knobs and levers and pieces that have to be removed entirely. Things are labelled, but if you are going to call one part 4a and one part 4b, don't tell me there is a jam in "area 4" - especially when the aforementioned 4a and 4b are not remotely near each other.

Oh, and did I mention: once the jam is cleared, 20 minutes later, your machine needs to acknowledge that this has, in fact, occurred, and start to work again.

I know you have technicians who need to get paid, and so they need to have machines to service, but I am also getting paid to do a job, and it is very hard to give a test to my students when the second copy of it is stuck inside a machine and I am 20 minutes late to class after having gotten it unstuck, and had to go find a different copy machine to finish making my copies - even though there were no move visible jams!

I admit defeat. I fought your machine and I lost.
Your machine made me cry.
And then I got a migraine.

Thanks a lot.

- me

Today, I had my high school writing class write an in-class 20 minute essay. The question consisted of a quote and a question as follows:

"To err is human; to forgive, infrequent." - Franklin P. Jones
This quote implies that people are not quick to forgive, yet people frequently say, "oh, that's okay." Do you think people truly forgive others when they say they have?

Here is E's "essay": (as best as I can decipher)

"People don't forgive because they don't
want to forgive because if they forgive
they will not forgive themselves for forgiving which
means that forgiveness is not forgiveness really
but we do not forgive to forgive but to forgive and
forgive but doing that would result in not forgiving
the forgiveness."

He spent the rest of the 20 minutes frawing a picture that included the following:

- a cartoon (almost stick figure) with a cross on his body, crosses in his hands, and a pointy hat, captioned with the words, "KKK is all the way"
- a swastika
- a cartoon (again, almost a stick figure) with a skullcap and what look like peyot (for those who do not know Hebrew, those curly sidelocks) who is saying, "ahhh" and an arrow pointing to the cartoon that says "JEW"

My first response: There is a drawing on his essay. He should not be drawing on his essay (this is not the first time he has done so)

Then I looked at the drawing. My next response: Even if he were allowed to draw on his essay, this sort of drawing is NEVER appropriate.

I wrote him a note that said:
E (I wrote his name, in the original) -this is NOT acceptable. (double underline under "not")
a) You should NOT be drawing on your paper.
b) The subject of your drawing is offensive and inappropriate in any context (with "any" underlined.)

At first, I was not disturbed by this drawing. I thought that perhaps he was trying to cross lines and get a rise out of me. In the past, I have crossed out his drawings, written "not appropriate" and proceeded to comment on his writing - which usually has at least some substance to it, even if I can tell he puts in no effort.

E is smart. He does not act out because class is hard for him - it isn't. I can tell from his responses in class that if he put in some effort, he could excel. But he doesn't want to. I think it is a question of attitude. He simply does not want to be there. I figured he was trying to take things one step further.

But, after writing my comments, I went to show the person who sits at the front desk - who agreed that this was a serious thing. It occurred to me only then that I had not actually read his essay - which turned out to be him making an effort not to make an effort, as far as I can tell.

It was only after I said to them, "I'm Jewish. I don't know if he knows that." that it began to disturb me. I can't quite articulate why.

He could have drawn this for any number of reasons. It's even harder to make sense of his motivations when I don't know whether he knows I am Jewish. The younger students know I am Jewish. The three youngest age groups have Folk Tales and Drama Games with me on Fridays, and when I used a Jewish folktale in the first class, I explained that I know it because I am Jewish and so forth. But it has not come up with my older students, so unless they were chatting about it with younger students, the only way he would know is if he recognized my necklace as a Jewish symbol. (It's not a Star of David - he would need to recognize other Jewish symbols) So I really don't know whether this was directed at me, or just random doodling.

I am not sure which would disturb me more.

He may have done it to see how I would react.
He may have done it because it seems "cool."
He may have done it because he believes it - but I don't think that is the case, at least not in a conscious way. I think this is more subtle than that.

I really just don't know what to make of it.

His parents will be called, and I will need to speak with him tomorrow - but he will just laugh me off. I think he will stand there with a grin on his face, pretending to be contrite, "yeah, okay, sorry." But he won't mean it. He knows that there's nothing scary about a talking-to if you just don't listen. I think I will make him redo the assignment over lunch.

But that does not address the content of the picture.

I don't know what to say to him - I can't even decide if I should mention that I am Jewish, that this is personal to me. I feel like that might just encourage him - as in, ooh, look, I found something that hits a nerve. And, furthermore, it shouldn't matter whether I am Jewish or not. It is inappropriate regardless of who is his teacher.

I have come to expect jokes from him. I expect him to goof off and put in only minimal effort. I never expected him to do this.